god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
