Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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