is your mom at the bar?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
