operation harelip BJ is a go
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize