I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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