So drunk its hurt
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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