How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
