Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
