4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
