whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize