I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
