so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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