I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
