were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
