True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
