Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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