Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
