I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
