They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
