So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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