I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You can't special order awesome
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize