He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
porn star boner night. come get it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
