One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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