Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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