maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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