1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
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He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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