Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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