I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
