Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
