I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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