It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
