you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
