We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
