it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
