I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
