you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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