Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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