Don't you send me to vm
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
