I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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