you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
