I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
