You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is wine microwaveable?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
