You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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