You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
