In the future we'll all be gay
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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