A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
