got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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