I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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