i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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