I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
