I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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