This girl is more easily done than said...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
