let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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