i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
