She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need water and some morals
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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