I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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