I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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