Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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