oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
