I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
