My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
