We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
